my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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