all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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