Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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