just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
