remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
