you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
