Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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