Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
