real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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