Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
