Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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