The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
