He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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