she sounds like chewbacca in bed
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
