u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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