Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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