can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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