if you like me you must not know who I am
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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