I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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