girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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