im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
