i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
