Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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