Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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