..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
