You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
