only if we run a train.
done.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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