He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i barfeds in our rink
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
