Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
