If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Terrible idea I love it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
