Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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