Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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