Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
