I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
