apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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