"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he shaved USA in his pubs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
