Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
