If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
