i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
