Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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