its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
