It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
