His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
