Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
