Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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