If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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