I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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