i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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