He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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