She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
